You won’t get just like, JUST CHIPS.  Like mostly JUST CHIPS—like nothin’ on them but like a little bit of cheese and maybe one little nugget of meat. 

Instead, you’ll get a pile of corn tortilla chips with seasoned ground beef, black beans, white cheese sauce, melted cheese, pico de gallo, house-pickled serrano peppers, and sides of homemade salsa and sour cream.

Like, don’t look around, find the one with the most meat, and always eat that one.

The restaurant has a rule.

$15

Are you a piece of shit? Then join the Dangerous Nights Crew and go out for wings (once) before the Blue Dolphin burns down and Rob Rovani’s ass is out (works with his brother now).

8-piece AWARD-WINNING bone-in wings with your choice of house-made Buffalo, BBQ, or Spicy JK BBQ.

Served with our homemade ranch or bleu cheese.

$15

That looks really good.  I should’ve got that.

½ pound local Alwan & Sons ground chuck, seasoned and topped with cheddar cheese, lettuce, house-made pickles, and tomato—GIMME THAT!  Served with hand-cut fries, which you might really need if Professor Yurabay comes around.

Dylan, look over there! I’m jokin’.  I’m jokin’.

$15

Now you eat at some of the best restaurants in town (like Oliver’s!). Get full to the brim eating this mixed greens salad with dried Montmorency cherries, bleu cheese crumbles, & balsamic vinaigrette, served with an Alwan & Sons ground chuck cheeseburger slider.  People say that it’s healthy, but with that much cherry and that much ground chuck, it can’t be healthy.

$10

Rich and cheesy spaghetti with freshly-grilled chicken—It goes great with spiked-up blond hair & little bitty jeans.

$15

Don’t lie about something as simple as grabbing too small a slice, because that probably means you don’t like the gift either.

Your choice of 12” cheese, pepperoni, or Chef (sausage/green pepper/onion)

$13.5/$16/$16.5